So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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