Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
