dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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