I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
