Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
