So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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