I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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