the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize
