So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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