I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
