Whod you bang
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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