OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
