i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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