I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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