Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
