She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
