i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
