there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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