I am puke
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
