so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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