i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
3pm strippers are depressing
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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