Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
