am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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