then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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