i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
