brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
