Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
