i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
