perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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