Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have surprise drugs for everyone
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
