Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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