Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
