so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
