i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
