I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
