your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
