Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
