I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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