Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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