cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
