He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
