Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
too bad you live with your parents still
you win again, gameday.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
