The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
How's work?
Spinning.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
