So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
