hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
