Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
