Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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