waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
