...so i touched it.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
