So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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