God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
