I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
