she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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