There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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